Laff it off

‎​This shit is funny.. Three tortoisee,Mike,Andy and Roy decide to go on a picnic. So Mike packs d picnic basket wit beers and sandwiches. The trouble is d picnic site is 10 miles away so it takes dem ten days to get der. When they got there Mike unpacks the food and says 'ok Roy,give me the bottle opener'. 'I dint bring it' says Roy! 'I tot u packed it?' Mike gets worried,so he turns to Andy and says 'did u bring the bottle opener'. Unfortunately Andy didnt bring it. So they are stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mike and Andy begged Roy to go back for it,but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After 2hrs,and after they have sworn on their lives dat they would not eat the sandwiches,he finally agrees. So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mike and Andy are starving. But a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back,but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer. So they take a sandwich each,and just as dey are about to eat it, Roy pops from behind a rock and shouts ' I KNEW IT....................AM NOT GOING'