Laff it off

Av got lots of forwarded jokes on my bb so I have decided to share some with you all,hope you enjoy them:

(1)
Teacher: why did u laugh? 
Boy: I saw 1 strap of ur bra. 
Teacher: GET OUT of the classroom for 1 week.... 
2nd boy laughed. 
Teacher: why did u laugh? 
Boy 2: I saw both straps. 
Teacher: GET OUT FOR 1 MONTH. 
Then the teacher bent down 2 pick up a piece of chalk,………..Little Johny started walking out. 
Teacher: Johny, why are you going out? 
Little Johny : Judging from what I just saw, I think my school days are over!

(2)
A mother had 3 virgin daughters,they were all getting married within a short time period....because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started,she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. 

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"! Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar...It said: "Good till the last drop". Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.    

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"   Mom went straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"...she was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
   
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing.Then after a whole month,a card finally arrived.   Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"...Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the advert for SAA. The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."...Mom fainted !!!

(3)
Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling John," she whispered.

"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."

But she was insistent. "John," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping John. "It's all right.

Everything's all right, go to sleep now."

"No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."

John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don't torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN